As everyone knows
the eagle's supposed
to be the symbol of freedom.
The very respected
government protected
it's against the law to eat 'em.

On dollars and collars
and metals for scholars
and flags that wag in the wind,
on cigars you puff
and American stuff
the eagle is proudly pinned.

With such a position
in American tradition
eagles are responsible birds.
Moral delinquency's
an idiosyncrasy
is seldom if ever incurred.

But there once was an eagle
who was not very regal
by the name of
J. Edgar Swoop.
It was quite often heard
that bird's absurd,
and ought be kept in a coop.

An example I'd say
would be his toupee
which he thought made
him look debonair.
And if he went to pack
he'd always hitchhike.
Never did travel by air.

J. hung around
the streets down town.
He said "Them mountains are dull.
All that you meets is occasional sheep
or a couple of high fly'n gull."

But the worst thing of all
was that he had the gall
to wear some baggy ol' knickers.
They were pink and blue plaid
and fit him so bad
they caused titters
guffaws and snickers.

Well, in the government town
the word got around
about J. Edgar and his antics.
So a meeting was held
and some Senators yelled
"un-American" and the usual fanatics.

The FBI director,
a federal bird inspector,
was called in to handle the deal.
He said "It looks like to me
this eagle's too free
I suspect he's gone over the hill."

"Well, there's only one choice"
said the people's voice
"America's depend'n on us.
We've got to find this bird
and give him the word
E pluribus unum or bust."

So the FBI
well they went out to try
to make J. claw the line.
But he just wouldn't listen
so they throwed him in prison
to pay for his traitor's crime.

In the government town
when things quieted down
they decided to make an appendage.
'Cause the symbol of the country
was in the penitentiary
and they needed a new government image.

The measure was born
and committees were formed
to find a new Yankee Doodle.
And the symbol that best
reflected the West
was none but the miniature poodle.

Some argued the fact
as to what a poodle lacked.
"Besides" they said, "They're French."
"But" said the committee
"So's the Statue of Liberty."
So it went up before the bench.

Well the measure was passed
into law at last,
was entered onto government logs
J. Edgar didn't care
poodles are queer
America's gone to the dogs